This month marks a year since the first Gødbottom exhibition took place at The Condo Association in Chicago. Curated by Stevie Hanley, the show considered what it means to be a bottom (a receiving partner during sex) and how the term could present a reversal of its negative implications. The curatorial statement elaborated: “Gødbottom takes up the term bottoming and unravels it in an expansive cross gender, sexuality and post-colonial manner. [. . .] Rather than seeking a definitive result, the Condo Association seeks to make empathetic bottom associates with the hopes that some transformative action could emanate from a theoretical ‘flip’ or ‘bottoming out’ of the notion itself.” With such a compelling exhibition theme, I was delighted to hear from Stevie; he invited me to include the Asylum Studies sketchbook in a vitrine.
Several pieces in the show featured images of anuses, my favorite of which was David Nasca’s large stylized leather sculpture with a glittery shagreen wart, which I first saw at the International Museum of Surgical Science. During the opening at The Condo Association, there were many conversations about death, Bataille, gender roles, porn, art, bottoming, and various related topics… But one comment struck me in particular. It turns out that in all deutorostome embryos, including humans, the anus is the very first formation before any other structure in the body. The second formation is the mouth and then the tube that connects them. After that, other structures and organs begin developing.
Before the exhibition even ended, Stevie announced a second Gødbottom show in New York and invited several of us to participate. It was scheduled to take place at least six months later, so I had some time to experiment. My first thought immediately went to the mind-blowing fact about deuterostomes. Even the apparent evasion and comical appeal to modesty in the term itself: deuterostome means “second mouth” in Ancient Greek, clearly avoiding any direct mention of the anus. I imagined a series of drawings that depicted a slowly unfurling and developing butthole, something that looks like a botanical illustration or a peculiar Victorian-era medical diagram.
The illustration idea was exciting. First, I had to decide how many panels to work with. After some thought, I went with three: a deuterostome gastrula, an adult anus, and a rosebud (prolapsed rectum that sometimes occurs after extreme fisting). I thought about adding more panels between them, which probably would have done nothing for the piece. A triptych had the potential to reference religious altarpieces, gods. And since the title of the exhibition was Gødbottom at a venue called NYC Inferno, Christian connotations made perfect sense. This was a sex-positive denunciation of religious shaming, an altarpiece for ultimate bottom worship: that of someone willing to take their submission to the level of a rosebud. I made decisions about the paper color, materials, scale, and various other elements… I decided to isolate and center each anus, truly reducing them to objects.
Of the three panels, I first contemplated the deuterostome gastrula. After some cross-referencing online, I found the diameter: 0.4mm. So I drew the tiniest reddish downward facing horseshoe shape in the center of the 20″x16″ sheet.
The second panel was going to be an adult anus. I considered drawing my own or my partner’s, but neither made sense with the project… Then I realized: it had to be the curator’s! The act of bending over and submitting for his own exhibition about bottoming made perfect sense. I didn’t know Stevie well at this point, but I had to follow what the artwork demanded. I crossed my fingers and contacted him about modeling his anus for a life drawing. He loved the idea and said yes, so we scheduled a meeting in his studio. The drawing took 20min—the typical amount of time he spends meditating.
The third panel, the rosebud, presented the biggest challenge. I contacted a friend who introduced me to this fetish several years ago. He was a top who went to fisting parties and occasionally encountered rosebuds. However, the image couldn’t be just any rosebud. I needed a picture-perfect one that truly looked like a flowering rose. The illustration had to be done from a reference photo, as rosebuds don’t usually last long enough to be drawn. And they’re more visually complex than a simple anus—this wouldn’t be a quick 20 min drawing.
My friend was thrilled at the prospect of helping out; he placed an ad on Craigslist that read: “Let’s make something beautiful together.” Shortly thereafter, Craigslist shut down their personals section. In the end, I received a film still from a video that he found online.
Most framed illustrations from the 19th Century seemed to have simple gilded mouldings with darker overmats. I ordered some materials and framed the triptych in a similar manner. The exhibition in NYC took place in September 2018.
I never know what a work of art will do until I see it in its finished stage. A big part of what keeps me working is the unanticipated experience of the artwork despite what I hitherto felt or imagined. I am interested in how that experience can change me by providing some new knowledge. When I completed all three drawings and placed them side by side, they felt much like a scientific illustration series while conjuring more: birth to death, nature/culture, false dichotomies, blossoming, intimacy, objectification, Victorian-era notions of health, sex, religious dogma… as well as some indescribable things.
